Observations

The other day my wife told me that something was “…as plain as the day on my face.” And she wonders why I don’t take anything seriously.

My computer monitor stopped working so now I’m virtually blind.

I complained to the check-out girl that my groceries appeared to be moving by themselves. She said that happens a lot. Then I told her that my religion didn’t allowing scanning and asked her to key in all the codes manually; she said they had a special check-out line for that but it was in another store across town.

The waiter asked me if I was ready to order. I told him I didn’t know but I’d check with my parents.

I tried to use the drive-through at Tim Horton’s but they said I needed a car. I don’t think that’s fair.

We have government inspectors for meat but the stores can sell any kind of vegetables that they want to. I think this puts vegetarians at a distinct disadvantage.

A man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a ladder for?