Monday, January 17, 2011

Statistics Canada Calls

At 8:55 this evening, Statistics Canada called (780 area code, so Alberta). The man identified himself as being from Stats Can and asked to speak to Jennessa.

"Why does Stats Can want to speak to my fifteen year old daughter?" I ask.

"We're gathering information about use of EI." He tells me.

"Did you not hear the part about her being fifteen?" I ask. "How many fifteen year olds collect Employment Insurance?"

"Well, it says here that in March 2010 she was employed..." he says.

"She had a paper route."

"It says she was employed by the REE-Cord..." That's the way he pronounced it, too. With the long EE sound - the REE-cord.

"You mean, the Record." I say. "That's the local paper... the Waterloo Record."

"Was she paid hourly?" He asks.

"Did you have a paper route when you were a kid?" I counter.

"Yes." He admits.

"How were you paid?" I ask.

"By the paper." He allows.

"It hasn't changed."

"Did she contribute to EI?" This guy doesn't give up.

"It was a PAPER ROUTE. She was paid by the number of papers delivered. You don't pay EI on paper routes."

"Was she a member of a Union?" He asks.

"A Union for paper carriers?" I said. "Do they have Unions for paper carriers?"

"No, I guess not..."

"Well then..."

"Uh - why did she leave her employment?"

"Well," I said "...I'll tell you. She attempted a hostile takeover of the newspaper and when it failed she felt too uncomfortable to continue working there."

Long pause. Then he asked (get ready for this) "Did she apply for EI benefits?"

"No." I said. "She's decided to live off her investments."


BrittAnY said...

HA!! that is too funny! Geez some people just dont get the picture ...that could be why they have that job...just a though!

Happy Tuesday!
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ReadingByLearning said...

Thats pretty spooky. I have heard similar stories from others about Stats Canada.

cdw said...

I am starting to get those calls, until I get it in writing as it is supposed to be, I will not answer the phone.

Anonymous said...

You think you were being pretty funny, but the computer survey script doesn't recognize sarcasm, and since that Stats. Can. employee is required to follow the script as per his/her job requirements, they probably just thought you were an idiot that doesn't understand how technology works...which apparently, you are...which is ironically unusual for a blogger.

Bill Clarke said...


You work for the government, don't you?